The fact is... I pay too much attention to others, to understand other people emotions too well, and see that it's not their fault that they make decisions which ends things up in a certain (lesser than my expected positive) way... and the fact that I have finished up my energy, feeling powerless, and can no longer do anything to change it...
this gets me stressed, and depression sets in...
my friend actually sums this up in a 1 liner (in fact a few words), appearing to be the one understand the situation...
:"do you realised that you are actually the one lacking control of your emotion...?"
...... I didn't reply.... anything......
I guess.... it takes a certain level "brain specs" to understand some things, just like how Windows 7 cannot be run on a Pentium 2 processor.. or Android cannot be installed on a Nokia 8310....
and that, is the reason why INFJ people do not tell people about themselves... either we go all the way and tell them fully, or none..
to make this seemingly illogical action seems more logically (since, supposedly, only 1% of the whole population can relate to this weird trait at 1 glance), I am going to go ALL the lengths, to explain this to MAKE SURE you understand this...
by the time you read this line and yet to get some hint of the "answer", you are not pondering enough on the previous writing (and that's what my INFJ type of weirdo, will choose to believe in), and realising the "lack of brain specs" in others, we don't want to end up emptying our energy to explain the full details, knowing the chances of people understanding is SOooo.... low.... we have decided to not talk about it anyway.
and the fact that we have definitely tried to explain to a certain "chosen" few, but it often reaps this expected result, will show us (the weirdo) that we are right about this judgement.
to make me (the INFJ weirdo) even more chim looking, I just realised that I have already written out the 2 explanation of the 2 extremes choices, and the INFJs will be trying to scroll back up on this, figuring out if they missed any details for understanding, if they have not understood this so far, or choose to believe that they could have understood this even better by reading the above, "a few more times"...
at this point, the chain of thoughts have been generated too far off for most people who can't understand it... shall stop it here to avoid more confusion... till the day an INFJ reads this and ask me about it then... I will automatically and naturally, check if your brain specs allows this" data file" to be understood completely without errors first.
(closes this chapter of brain thoughts, continue below...)
_____________
therefore.... I am not tired out from working, but am actually tired of thinking and executing ways to convince people to work towards my believed 'positive" mindsets, and doing the "right" stuff to self-help... this is the real reason why I am mentally tired.. and depressed...
as a combination from an INFJ..
"perfectionist" and
"strong dislike for conflict..."
some things I am so sure that it's wrong, but I can't do anything to change the person's thoughts and actions.... and the mana leeching criteria for myself on top of doing this action....
: to executed that action "peacefully" without letting them feeling bad.... it takes far too much effort, and I am drained..... business is about growing stronger and stronger, to solve things by oneselves if no one else can help.... that's what I've been thru for the passed 2 years alone... why can't a person just try your best, or at least try, whatever that I have to suggest, if it sounds right to them??
I can see too well who's lacking control, and when I finished using up my own energy, and still aren't able to help some person "control", I get depressed. Just like how in some game, if you have got the ability to "transfer" your life to aid others, and you died doing that, are you considered as weak?
I know all these may seem to be written in a 1 sided context to a small percentage (check this fact with many other people if you happen to believe that the above is still 1 sided....) But I do feel emptied out already... if you still don't feel the extent of energy leeched out from me... try executing these words, in action. "What problems do you have? Give it to me, I will solve for you". This is how huge a responsibility that I have placed on myself... to make it worst... I failed doing it
Maybe I should just go with the flow, be like water.. may Bruce Lee bless me...
(another fact, the INFJ me, took 17 iteration in 1 hr of reading, writing and editing for the aboved blog post, hoping the best words has been used to convey my thoughts to the best of our written ability... counted the amount of "post published" in my smartphone.. it's the same for 99% of all the other blog posts since i started this blog... we aim to communicate as clearly as we can to our fullest potential... yes this is stressing out the brain too, brain thoughts won't seem to end as we can link everything up "logically" in our way... so I will just put a full stop to this now...)
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