Review on my "hard work"

Things that I have done in hall.

1. Finished with my photography page (2 days of hard work)

Birthday and Wedding packages, finalised.
And this time, I "invited" everyone on my friends list to help me boost up the "fan" number, to make it look nicer so at least when external people see, the page "look" Pro-er". Now looking back... haha.. I wonder how I have 900+ friends.... just by taking photos (it was 800+ before first FOC camp). I told myself not to add anyone already so I can conclude that "camera" = friend.

And I spent some time to read up on copyright issues of the use of music in video. It's super messy. Anyway, I have concluded to use the "future investment" mentioned below if I ever need to create a video montage. It's super cool anyway, so I think it will be worth it.

Investment already made:
upgraded my multiply account to "premium" so that "1 click download" option is available.

Future investment:
a website that can create professional videos. (but it's US$200+ for a year, see how bah)
below is a 30 second limited preview, which is free.



(updated: Some days ago, upgraded... unlimited time, but low quality)

2. Complete my committee planning for work allocation, throught email. - Hope everyone do their little amount of work and 天下 will be 太平 ：）

Done up a Facebook page, with pictures and video, survey.... simple yet not easy. Anyway, it's done.

Ok, shall just note down these for now.

and I am staying in hall to do all these...
I want to get out!! Hope some gatherings pop out then I will be "forced" to get out.
It just doesn't feels like a holiday... yet.....

Summarized Updates

2nd day was okay, 2 more "old" friends came back to join in the camp, but then, they were not in my group so didn't have chance to really talk to them... anyway, after the camp with lack of sleep and tiredness, I've got flu!

Anyway, it's going to be another count down of 3 more days before it recovers.

There's many many things to do. And each day, I just have to clear it one by one bah.

For today, I have finished up the design of my name card, uploaded the 2 days of photos online, upgraded my multiply account to "premium" (US$19.95) so now my "future" customers and friends will be able to download full quality pictures just from 1 link instead of many many links, for just 1 year.... ok this is a investment.
(hope I really don't invest too much. dot dot dot 血汗钱 leh Jiahe....)

And this is my future name card!!

The front




And the back.



And works that's left....
1) to learn 4 stuff, Adobe premium Pro and After effects, Solidworks, and Maths 4.
2) My OEC (overseas camp) planning, to be cleared by this holiday.
3) My photography writeup, packages improvisation.
4) My IPPT training.
5) .... add next time, anymore of these will make me emo.

Because my nose was running, I can't go for my ex-photographer boss' training... today suppose to follow him for a wedding shoot in Sentosa, and tomorrow morning 5 am till afternoon, for another Actual day wedding shoot. (but it's not paid so it's considered lessons for me in exchange for my pictures haha)

Anyway, I will be back in hall on Sunday night.

And I shall leave hall now to visit my parents....

Seniors Camp Day 1 of 2

I went back with the intention of seeing old friends.

But there's none..... not that there's no friends, it's just that there's no "ex-comm" old friend in my group.

Anyway, here's a picture of my group.



Still quite fun bah.

haha... it looks like my life's karma pattern is such that I lose touch with "friends" every period of time.....
since the time I know what is the meaning of "friends" from primary school.

From time to time, those that I want to see always get "lost" in bunches.

Maybe I think too much....
good night world.

Good night Jiahe....

Alone yet not alone, yet alone.

The study room in my hall.



It's interesting to see that there's actually still quite a number of people who still staying in hall because of exams. Or at least, there's people whom I know... yet not really know (haha)

anyway, last night I had a good supper with my roomie.



It's always interesting to see people.
Especially after being "cave" in NTU for so long, or in my hall to be exact.

I came to 80% sure of something, yet 80% of the times, I am wrong.
ha. See if I every get to confirm the 20% bah. It will be interesting :)
(6 Dec, +10% to each category, seems like more there's people who knew something before I did -_-)

Ok I am going to test Jiahe's memory by not writing anymore, so I can have some challenge guessing what I am trying to say at this moment.

Anyway, it's not important, so it's okay hahaha :P
Been "slacking" through the whole day, took a 1 hr nap so carefreely. I better go back to my "full force" mode and not wander around anymore with my notes and "laptop" in front of me.

OK to infinity.... and... whatever.
K off :)

3rd paper.

AhhHHh!! 3rd paper down... last one on Monday morning.
Been here on this great NTU island for quite sometime already...
I feel like a local overseas student...

counting back.... I think since this week, I am already in...
lost touch with how long I've been here...
But I guess that's at least 4 weeks bah -_-"

At least I had a feel of how it is like to be an overseas student like my China roomie...
just that I am the only "overseas student" of my own country around.... or maybe a few visits now and then by my Malaysian ex-neighbour from lvl 6 of my block, and 1 house visit to my ex Singaporean roomie's room.

This weekend... hai...



looking at the doggie makes me want 1 too....

Friday is my 2nd last paper

Ok, today's paper was... lucky I hope. With the lousy belief "to calm yourself down" that "whatever you don't know, won't come out" faith. I went into the war ground.

It was so "facts" twisting and untwisting intensive, that even with my "Triple" power mode, I can only manage to read thru 1/2 of the materials 2 times (2nd time is reading of my personalized summary), and the other 1/2..... just once.... and forgotten most of it.

This is the "Jiahe-rised" summary for "max" efficiency revision (for Jiahe only?? dunno :P)






Imaging.... this is just 2 page, out of the 30 page.... of summary.
And what's even more power.....

I haven't got time to "read" even the other 1/2 of the lecture materials......
that means.....

at this rate, I will be "generating" another 30 pages of "summary".... if I've got the time (which I don't, so I can only "read thru" before I go for exams.

and this is supposed to be in "NTU's Engineering student's memory".

Per Module.

Per Semester.

(and we have at least 5 modules per semester. WOW didn't know I am so "POWERFUL" as well despite the fact that I am pushing the "bell curve" up!)

HOW TO DO THAT SIA! that's why I always tell my friends, who could "eat" these kind of things in, that they are really "good". And they should treasure their "ability".

Anyway, as I was saying, the "Triple" combo move may be health damaging, so it's still better not to stretch myself to this level.

But it's still effective, if I really need it. Here's goes the "summary" for myself to refer to in future :)

1. Combo drink - Coffee reduce to 1/2 a pack to reduce side effects. (still working fine for now)
2. the soft copy "summary" while-I-study method - To counter the "forget whatever Jiahe study syndrome".

Firstly - it force me to understand before I continue
2ndly - sure forgot everything after studying.... no scare no scare! Summary is ready!! :)

and the last one... which is finally solved.
3. The sleep issue.

Auntie Sew has always been surprising me with "power" items.
Liang Tehs, barley drinks, Ling Yang Drinks. And now....




This thing is pOwErDeRfUL sia!!
And I have been looking for this "smell"... since I left my JC.... 6 years ago!!?
(wow now that I counted, I realised I am super old -_-)
oh ya back to the place of the smell...

Guess what!
It's actually the smell of the deodorant... from my LT5 toilet!
(ha the reason I can remember it is because, the smell is "lemon barley" flavoured, and it can't be smelled anywhere since I last left! Been "missing" that smell for so long already.. haha :P

Then guess what again...
This bottle contain.. what Jujube Date extract and Camomile and some oil, actually smell even better than this "toilet"!!

It's a stronger smell, super similar to that of "lemon", and when sprayed on my pillow, it makes every breathing in "enjoyable". Super COOL! Then I fall into "deep sleep", I think I indirectly did the "Yoga" breathing thing haha :P

Thanks Auntie Sew... now my exam life is "in control" for now. At least now that I found a way to "max" awake, "max" effective studying and the "max" rest "combo". It shall be used again :P

Oh ya, anyway, I've added a wish list to my previous wishlist.

1. A new "desktop" to replace my laptop's workload. And now it must come with "Windows 7" and touchscreen. My efficiency for processing photos will then be at "max" speed as well!
(ha seems like I kana the "max" virus today... I ran at "max" speed today (10:37) and did my "max" number of pull ups of this year as well.... today :P)

Anyway, I learnt a new lesson..... today.


If I try my best, there's actually a "bester" waiting for me. So don't stop trying.

1. When I try to study at my "max" concentration, I realised that my concentration level is not as short as I thought.

2. When I try to stay awake because I've got a purpose, I realised that I won't fall asleep, even if I am tired.

3. When I try to run at my "maximum" speed at the start, I realised that I can still end with my "maximum" speed at the end, if I just try my "maximum".

The key word is "if I just try". And not only that I must understand this, I must "accept" and believe in it too, in order to succeed.

Ok, Year 3 was fun.. so far....

2 more exams to go!

Ok maybe it's not so fun... yet :P

K 加油 加油 加油！!

Glad I manage to "lived" this far :)

Monday's is my 2nd paper.

I still have 1/3 of the whole lecture to go... better put in more effort.

Oh.. and looking at my friends' facebook pictures and saw the places they went around really makes me want to go "out" and see the world....

Norway looks so nice.... and with a great BUNCH of friends there, it looks ULTRA fun!

QY! Life's fun over there ah! :)

Life.... with 4 slides.

This post is super time wasting.....
but I really really want to remind myself of the great life I have in NTU.
Here's how I try to study my 4 slides, out of the MANY MANY slides I need to "eat".




Maybe I am really stupid or what.

Anyway......
Engineering slides in NTU rocks.

Grandma.

Today, my 可爱的 Grandma went up to heaven.
Shall visit her one of these days.

In less than a centuries time, I shall hear her say, in Hokkien....
"吃饱了没, 要喝水吗？" again.....

Provided that I am a good boy and I go heaven too :)
She's really a very very nice Ah Ma and I am glad for her presence around for my 23 years on Earth.

See ya Ah MA!!
(Anyway, I have dreams in HD quality every night since like.... dunno when. I wonder if I will see her tonight.... I hope so!! Too bad I can't "download" if it really happens. Anyway, I really think too much haha.... ok study for now bah!)

Hai HAi hai.... What's up :)

I keep "hai"ing through the afternoon, after a meal, and although I do feel the tiredness (standard feeling from digesting the food), I can still keep awake and continue to do my studying.

haha, it's all thanks to the 3/4 packet of coffee "combo" drink this morning.

"hai"ing most probably means I am "down"or "sad", or something to do with these feelings, as what I've understood while revision through super ??? topics and modules for the previous years. But I guess this "combo" drink is really able to remove the "emotions" part, which I still couldn't figure out why there's such a effect (didn't even hear anything about this from news or anywhere).

haha, maybe a breakthrough research piece of data from the "caveman" Lim here?

ha, no choice but I need to become a robot for today...
cos I can't afford to be inefficient like the past 2 days, trying to test without the combo drink....

一切顺其自然。
Through these years, it's interesting to note that some conclusions came to agree with the teachings of 孔子，庄子 and what other Mr 子s.
(Maybe I am 老夫子。。 哈哈）

never mind that for now.
Exams tomorrow!
Jia you :)

Stalkers

ha, today, I just found out that there's actually people who stalks "this" place too. Often or not, I don't know. But even if it's 1 time, it's still "stalking" if you see the defination below.

defination of stalker: Someone who prowls or sneaks about
and the defination of sneak: To go stealthily

I am not "stealthy" at all since I showed myself everywhere and left big hints around.

You know, most information (about me) is not available in the "market" easily, and compiled together. And this "stalker" happened to know a few things about me which "she" didn't realised when she told me. But then again, if the info is gotten from somewhere else, eg: some other stalkers, then she won't read this post.... Anyway, it's doesn't really matter haha :P
Hmm.. actually it's interesting to know how "information" can be "stalked" out from people nowadays, Facebook, friends, etc... :)
haha, now something interesting for me to think: Is there's another "Jiahe" stalking me? haha! It will be so fun to know if there is, but "stalking"... so I won't know. Sianz. No fun liao -_-
And to Ms Stalker if you are really here:
"ha, go stalk your boyfriend la haha :P"

Perspective

haha, is Stressy standing?
It all depends on how we look at it.
I am learning to look at life from different angles, and to accept life from all these angles.
2 years ago, I would have died in piles of notes if I am left alone in my hostel room for just less than a day.
Good that after so long, I am "totally fine", and it's been almost 2 weeks, morning till night, then my roomie returns at night to entertain me haha :)

For the picture above.
I choose to believe that he is.....

still head standing :P

Burnt out....

My energy's drained.. don't know if it's the result of being unable to recall much from my brain that affects my emotions, or it's the other way....

No matter which way, it's not good for studying. Nothing went in and nothing came out either.

Yesterday, I went down to shifu's Martial Arts' School's celebration at a restaurant in Tanjong Pagar complex, as he really hoped that we will be there to "give" support, knowing that we are having exams. Although I am very very tired, it was still a worthwhile and fun trip as they are really a bunch of entertaining people to be with. Hope it's a good "break" for me, I hope....
(am losing the "happy feeling" again.. don't know if it's the effect of not having the "combo drink"... which I tried not having for the past 2 days.)



Now to think back, They always appear to be "smiling at me" so carefree-ly. I wonder if I am the only one placing myself in "my own world".
If I am placed together with them and someone else is taking a photo, can I do that?
Most probably can't I guess.... haha ._.

For now, I just tried to listen to some new instrumental music, hoping it will pull me back....
Jiahe ran out of tricks to make me happy already...

Being alone in a room is not good, but it's not a option either.
anyway, now I felt better because...

Jon Schmidt piano music is nice.

:)

A hard decision... which's not that hard.

The 1 cup "combo drink" per day, is making me "super charged". My brain feels like a "CPU" more than like a self controlled brain...

The good

I can feel and understand exactly every single emotion/ reaction from the body.

I know when it's bored, when it's drifting off or whether concentration level drop....
and the thing is: I can pull it back up just by a "command".
I make decisions fast, without emotions. I behave as if... I had enough sleep (which I have always wished for)

but....

The bad

I can feel everything, even the body's tiredness, but I couldn't fall asleep at nght for at least 1 hour too...

My hand is trembling...

I take in lesser amount of air per breathe, usually this will make me even more tired, but now I can just feel tiredness, but wide awake...

it feels like I am converting "health points" to "Mana Points" like some game.
Most probably it's because I don't used to drink coffee as I thought coffee will give such "side effects" and now it have a "maximum effect" on my body now.

Anyway, now since I can "think" at 100X faster. The decision that I make is faster and easier, and it's strangely "unaffected" by emotions this time. (it's the coffee's effect I think... weird..)

This would have been a tough decision when it's the normal me, but now...

for one of the modules that I am retaking: MC for Maths 4.

Reason: It's too near my core, and I haven't digested it yet, at all.
Initally the plan was to study it before this Semester even started. But due to my commitments, be it work, for my CAC's Orientation Camp, here and there.....

I didn't manage to study it at all.

And this sem: All Maths classes clashes with my Core, and I end up having no time to study on my own again.

So there's some problem with the "planning".

So now, I shall start a new "war" plan.

1) Every now and then in future, the "combo drink" can be used to quick charge up, so I can start doing a "summary" of the module, to be "recalled" for reading before exams.

2) Maths 4 shall be "conquered" again next Sem, with a properly decoded "Jiahe teaching style" summary ready, when my Sem 2 doing Industrial Attachment (IA) finishes.
And the summary shall be use in Yr 4 Sem 1.

3) The current war plan is to: Conquer all the rest of the "4" core modules. And I mean, conquer, not just attack. Point 1 will aid you... I hope.

Ok, and unlike last timeS...
the war plan shall be here even before the war finishes, to let me remember how come such a decision is made.








haha, it's not meant for others to digest it, but if you think my "plan" can provide some entertainment, then read loh :P

Ok, now to continue :)

Combo "study" drink

The combination drink, for exams.




The chocolate, that's to "activate happiness". (180 ml of water)
And the coffee, which keeps up the length of concentration longer. (150 ml)

三碗水，煮成一碗水

Combine in a cup. ( about 330 ml?)

Still studying the logical theory modules for exams, so far so good. (if it works it's going to be used for next 2 sems in Yr 4)

Hope it still works when I switch to Maths 4 later in the evening.....

That's what I like about my system...

I'll just have to write out my problem.
and after a 10 min nap...
it's solved :)

New resolutions.

1. I shouldn't look down on myself because I can still see improvements ahead, just that it's out of reached.

2. we build on one another's success, that's what makes the world fun to live in. We don't have to be able to do everything just to complete a task. That's why we have friends and colleagues :)

3. my photography is not stagnant yet, I still have 2 more things missing before I can "try" taking the "intended" photos. And photography is good, and there's a reason why you had interest.
You shouldn't forget why you like taking photos: You wanted to preserve your memories remember? =)

so something to look forward to:

1) it's another DSLR, to be used together for events attached with
2) a AF-S DX NIKKOR 35mm f/1.8G (on 19/11, I may consider sigma 24mm f/1.8, but the size is -_-)

It's like a wishlist, but PLS DON'T BUY FOR ME by pooling as a present because this is my personal "motivational" list.

And I will "try" to win the 1st item when I am more free, and buy the 2nd item when I've got it.
(or I will just buy the 2nd item and start shooting, to increase my chance of "winning" the 1st item)

Whatever you are going through now, just do whatever you can. Try your best and see what happens :)

(zzz monster I hope you can wake up your idea too and leave my emotions alone)

I will be a happy human being once I can sleep properly again... so I will try all means and ways to sleep properly and become a stronger person.

And being happy, you will get a "bigger brain". So you'll be able to remember more stuff. Isn't that good?
And being able to remember more stuff = higher chance of passing exams, and you should be happier!!
so study whatever you know first, and ask whatever you dunno.....
Simple :)



I say: forget about this curve.
It's never easy to be able to control "stress".




this will be much easier to understand :)

So 加油 Jiahe!
(haha, crazy self talks again from the crazy jiahee =P)

what a sleep.

Last night, the plan was to sleep at 2.23am, then wake up at 9.30am.

A total of 7 hr, 7 min. (that's shown on my hp alarm just before I slept, nice number so easy to recall)

Then when I woke up for the first time, it was to stop the alarm clock.
And I went back to sleep "a while" more.

Then the 2nd time I woke up, it was 11.44 am.
This means I have slept for another 2 hr 15 min.

Of course this "long" timing means that I have been "trapped" in dreams again.
But this time, I'm thinking if there's any meanings behind it.....

Inside the dream, many people appeared, but I can only remember the last person, it was Mr Ham in my hall, going in and out of my block's level 5 (girls level) door, and I was at level 6 (I used to stay there) when I saw him. The "fact", that I manage to bluff myself is: his gf is studying in NTU and he's here to visit. (totally false).

But through this, I am guessing that... my inner Jiahe really wished.....
to go out and see some friends...
But I am using "physical" strength to trap him in NTU... and do something that is seriously.... antagonizing.
Most of the modules is turning him off slowly because the sheer amount of "facts" to remember is simply, too much.
(at least, not the type which is easily adsorbed by him)

I hate looking down on people, no matter what. Unless it's their character that has problem.
But now, I think I am looking down on myself... and that's pathetic....
I've heard many times before, that there's people who's not good with studying, but are excelling out there. So grades doesn't determines everything.

But that doesn't seems motivating or even assuring to me.... I keep linking myself to some failures that I couldn't do in life.
Even with the stuff that I can do, like I manage to entertain myself with a another video creation, I will end up putting a wet blanket over myself and come up with stupid conclusions on my "things I enjoy doing" like....

1. The video is nice, not because of me. The reason why the video is good is because, the composer of the music is good, and the video programme which is made by other, is powerful. You have no credits. Anyway, it's a useless skill....

2. you think you photos can earn you a living? It's just that the camera is good. Anyway, it's still a question mark if anyone would "really want" to hire you as a photographer, even if you just want it to use it as a part time job if you really think it can be done... have you managed to compare your pictures with other professional "photographers" yet? How do you know if yours standards are enough to work?
you might as well just play with your camera and take pictures for your own, forget about this "job" thing.

I can't believe that I actually believe these at some point of time. Why will I "look down" on myself like that when I will not do such a evil thing to others....

what the hell 林家禾.

Have always been trying to remind my friends to endure through these 4 years, it will be good training despite the stress. But now I am losing faith as well... although I'm trying to motivate myself too with what I say to others..

Maybe after today, I shall study with some friends, and talk a bit to humans.
I realised that most thing I've written here, no one else would know about it because I won't say.

And now, I dunno if I am like living in this stupid world of my own.....
bluffing myself that I am happy, when I am not, and I actually believed that I am happy.
I am so tired now, although it's like 9 hours on the bed.



whatever.
I shall continue my reading alone.

I am someone who likes to learn everything.
It all comes from this saying, passed down from my Ah Gong, to my mum, then to me....

拿起手，就会做。

these words have been really useful, and I will pass this on.

Some people can learn faster, some learn slower....
but now I've realised that there are some things which can't be learnt...

Limit breaking...
been 叹气ing many times a day while I study...

shall just endure and hope you don't die on me Jiahe...
there's still many other stuff that's waiting to be done... after the exams so jia you!!!
(ha.. the self talk thing is back....)

You have woken up your idea, so now the new direction is.....
"not fall asleep".

If I ever happen to drift here.....

Be stronger Jiahe....
You need to.

My China room Mate is making me laugh hahaHA!

He's been reading off lots of jokes from China forums and the chinese version of Facebook (known as 校内).

Here's one that he told me when I am still stressing over my work.
according to China's Laws.

男人23岁才能结婚，
可是18岁就能当兵。
这说明了3个问题：

一是杀人比做丈夫容易；
二是过日子比打仗难；
三是女人比敌人更难对付

Time to sleep soon after laughing.....

And he's still reading off more now =P